China Even Surprised At The Shit It’s Getting Away With


THE CHINESE government has expressed genuine surprise at the ease with which it pretty much does whatever it pleases, to whomever with absolutely no repercussions or significant political outcry.

“Oh, cool, we guess you’re okay with Muslims in concentration camps as long as we keep the cheap electronics coming your way. We hear you loud and clear,” shared an aide close to Chinese President Xi Jinping.

Chinese officials have long known their standing as a large economic and trading powerhouse means plenty of controversial human rights violations go unpunished but still admitted to being taken aback by just how much the rest of the world is willing to let slip.

“We’re just routinely demolishing mosques belonging to a religious minority and then rounding up Uighurs for ‘re-education’. You know, normal stuff people are perfectly fine with and never bring up when we go on official visits abroad, anyways it’s only one million people we’ve done this to so no biggy,” added the aide, who will get onto the Hong Kong stuff if you just give him a minute.

While ordinary people around the world are well versed in being astonished by the harmful actions carried out by the Chinese government and the lack of political will shown mealy-mouthed deference leaders who dare not challenge them, the government itself still getting to grips with its new resurgent repercussion-free era.

“As long as we keep importing good from Europe, the US and elsewhere, they honestly don’t seem to mind standing by and just watching us slowly swallow up an autonomous territory like Hong Kong. It’s a wild ride we’re on, and no one is asking us to get off,” concluded the spokesperson.