Delaney Scores Corporate Box Tickets To Hearing For All His Pals


NEVER a man to leave his buds hanging when it comes to tickets to the hottest sporting events in town, former FAI boss John Delaney has kitted out his lads with sweet seats to his ongoing Oireachtas Sports Committee hearing, where he will be grilled on a number of irregularities surrounding his tenure as CEO.

“Fucking sweet of Delan-o to set us up like this,” said one of the white-collared attendees, eating from a platter of chicken goujons and sipping a pint of Heineken while kicking back in a corporate box overlooking the action.

“He’s always come through for us in the past- we go way back. He’s some guy, total legend like. Any match, any event, Delaney looks after his guys. It’s a bit sad to see him getting grilled like this, but hey, he’s Teflon. He has this in the bag”.

A hush fell over the box as Delaney’s opposition attempted to hit him with a series of questions regarding a loan of €100,000 that he gave without contract to the organisation who were paying him €360,000 a year, causing the newly-appointed Executive Vice President of the FAI to writhe around in pain in the ground.

“Where’s the fucking referee?” yelled distraught Delaney fan, almost choking on a little vol au vent type of thing.

“I’ll give it to Delaney, this is the best match he’s ever gotten us tickets for. Normally it’s some fucking nil-all draw against a Balkan state played in the pissing rain, but this is a real thriller, a relegation six-pointer, a hell of a show”.

Should Delaney fail to satisfy the Sports Committee with his answers the day is set to go into extra time, then penalties, and failing a decision after that, probably just let him go on about his business.