FOLLOWING yet another defeat for her Brexit deal yesterday, British PM Theresa May has announced that she may have no other option than invoke Article 51, a scenario so dreadful that it could downgrade Great Britain to just regular Britain overnight.
May invoked Article 50 of the Treaty on European Union in March of 2017, and has less than 20 days to either go ahead with what appears to be a No Deal Brexit or extend Article 50 using a special Can-Kicking Clause… but this morning May proposed the as-yet-unheard-of Article 51, which ministers have struggled to find anywhere in their guidebook to the EU.
Claiming that she alone had details of Article 51, May painted a grim picture of what life after Article 51 might look like, adding that the controversial new development would trigger itself automatically in the event of a No-Deal Brexit.
“It’s bad… oh it’s bad. Shocking bad. Very bad altogether” warned May, reading from a page of her own headed stationery which had the words ‘Article 51’ written hastily on it in biro.
“This states that should we go ahead with Brexit, any and all bad things that happen afterwards are – and this is EU law, there’s nothing we can do here – 100% the fault of the Labour Party and the Irish government. Food shortages, hikes in prices, medicinal emergencies… it’s not good lads, it’s pure shite altogether. But remember; this is Article 51. We were all fine with Article 50, that was going to be a good time for everyone. Nobody wants Article 51, but that’s what is heading our way. Don’t blame us; blame literally everyone else”.
May was asked by the opposition if they could get a quick look at Article 51, but she told them no, she was very hungry, before stuffing it in her mouth and claiming she hadn’t had her breakfast and she simply must eat it right away.