Latest 2FM Reshuffle Set To Change Humanity As We Know It


MAKING THE BIG announcement which will effect 7 billion plus inhabitants of Earth, RTÉ 2FM chiefs confirmed a reshuffle and overhaul of their presenting line up, making it the 83rd reshuffle in the past 12 months, rocking humanity to its foundations in the process.

“This changes everything,” remarked one of the millions of people who stormed the RTÉ buildings in search of precise details about the radio shows they will listen to while stuck in traffic.

The changes in line up were ratified earlier this morning at an emergency sitting of the UN Security Council.

Clearing his throat, and looking every inch the man who knew the gravity of the news he was imparting on the world, one 2FM official shared the earth shattering reshuffle with the planet.

“Someone else is now presenting a radio show in this time slot, there may be other changes. Over time, we will all heal. The listening figures will skyrocket by 3,000 people and we will celebrate this like we have cured all cancers. Some more time will pass, the show presented by the person you like will eventually pop up on Today FM. There will be healing,” the 2FM official stated.

“This marks our continued efforts at 2FM to alter human consciousness as we know it and change the way you listen to radio”.

The remarks sparked applause, riots, several small but devastating wars, a Netflix documentary and a bonus for someone in 2FM management. Despite the worry sparked by the comments, it is believed people will still listen to radio the normal way, with their ears.