Petition To Rejoin The UK Reaches Minus 4.8 Million Signatures


IN recent days an online petition on the UK parliament’s website has urged people to agree to letting Ireland rejoin the UK in a bid to put an end to all this silly nonsense about the border and the troublesome backstop.

Claiming that ‘Britain and Ireland are stronger together’ the petition’s creator asked people to sign it so that one of the more problematic aspects of Brexit in the shape of the Irish border can gain a quick and simple fix by way of Ireland relinquishing its independence.

The response has been overwhelming with the petition receiving as many minus 4.8 million signatures, much to the confusion of the people tasked with maintaining the UK parliament’s website.

“I don’t understand,” explained I.T man Guy Manson, “we don’t even have an option to vote against a petition, so how we ended up with over minus 4.8 million in response is beyond me”.

“Wait, it’s still going. Now it’s closer to minus 5 million but there isn’t even a button for that,” Manson added, a worrisome look etched on his face as the counter for petition signatures continued to plummet.

Fears the setting up of the petition is yet further proof that there is no hope of Britain and its ruling class getting their act together before March 29th have been downplayed by experts.

“Oh this is only the tip of the stupidity iceberg. Strap yourselves in lads,” confirmed one Brexit expert who honestly wished he wasn’t a Brexit expert.