Local Girl ‘Ruined With Tattoos’


A THINK-TANK of esteemed Waterford gentlemen have emerged from a grueling deliberation session during which time they ascertained that local girl Sheila Whelan used to be a lot better looking before she went and ‘ruined herself’ by getting a full sleeve tattoo done, as well as several other inkings around her person.

The cabal of predominantly single lads made their findings over pints at the weekend in their local, where they spotted Ms. Whelan socialising with friends, prompting them to spend the rest of the night discussing the ‘formerly-attractive’ 25-year-old, until such a time as they were happy that she had never given them so much as a passing glance.

“I’ll tell you one thing lads, we dodged a bullet there,” said Derek Sewell, who had a crush on Ms. Whelan since back in school, but wouldn’t go near her now that she’s destroyed herself with ink.

“Sure what was she thinking, going off and getting all them tattoos done, eh? Did she not consider what the lads in her locality find attractive, or did she just lose the run of herself altogether? It’s an attention seeking thing if you ask me, plus she probably has like, loads of other issues. That’s not to mention what they’ll look like when she’s fifty. Anyways, what are we at the rest of the night? Drinking our loneliness away? Fair enough”.

Meanwhile Ms. Whelan has yet to issue a statement on the matter, as she has ‘a life to live, and not a fuck to give’.