Embarrassing Scenes As 400,000 People Turn Up To Papal Mass A Day Late


SOME 400,000 people have been left with egg on their faces after they began turning up to the Papal mass in the Phoenix Park a full day after it actually took place, WWN can reveal.

All 500,000 tickets for the Papal mass were snapped up this summer when they became available online but officials were left scratching their heads as only 100,000 people turned up on the day.

However, there was considerable relief expressed now that the God-fearing public had an alternative explanation as to why there were such low crowd numbers in Dublin yesterday, other than the conclusion drawn by many that much of the Nation is sick to death of being lectured to by a corrupt and morally bankrupt organisation like the Catholic Church.

“We walked into the park and there wasn’t a mass to be had, then I checked the date on my ticket. I only went and mixed up the dates like a right doddering fool,” confirmed one devout Catholic this morning as he rocked up to Phoenix Park only to find disappointment and embarrassment instead of a mass.

Irish church officials also confirmed that things like ‘a bit of rain’ and the fact the Pope didn’t deliver 400,000 separate masses in people’s living rooms as yet more extenuating circumstances that could explain the drop of more than 90% in attendance figures between this Pope’s visit and the visit of Pope John Paul II.

“Ah, you’re joking? I could have sworn it was on today,” confirmed roughly 400,000 people who definitely weren’t put off at all by the constant stream of hypocrisy being delivered out of the Vatican on a day-to-day basis.

While the Church has issued no official punishment for those who failed to attend on the correct day, it is presumed the punishment would be similar to that issued to people who have sex before marriage, get divorced, use condoms, vote Yes in abortion referendums and think being gay is acceptable.