Actor Who Played Robert Redford Retires Aged 81


BRITISH actor Stephen Jones has announced that he is to retire from his lifelong role as Robert Redford at the grand old age of 81, WWN can confirm.

Jones thanked all of his fans and colleagues throughout the years for their continued support, stating that he was looking forward to living the rest of his life as himself at his country estate in Cheshire, England.

“It’s just great to be able to relax after years of hard work and to finally ditch this old wig,” the now bald Jones told reporters in a thick Northern accent as he arrived at Manchester airport this morning. “All I want to do is go home, relax, put the kettle on and spend the rest of my days watching back-to-back soaps while doing sweet F all”.

In 1936, Stephen’s parents Philicity and Daniel Jones travelled to the US and auditioned the then 2-month-old for the Hollywood role of Robert Redford. Following several callbacks, Stephen finally got the part, beating thousand’s of other newborns for the role.

“I loved every minute of being Robert Redford,” he said, “but it’s time to hand over the reigns to someone younger and who can take the part onto a whole new level. I look forward to seeing where they will take Robert’s character – he was a very interesting man to play”.

It is not known who or when the new auditions for Robert Redford will take place, but sources in the writing team believe the new Robert Redford will probably be another unknown actor, keeping with the tradition of the part.

“We’ve some big plans in political side of things for Bob, and that’s all we’re saying right now,” confirmed one source.

Meanwhile, temporary counselling services have been set up worldwide to help middle aged women deal with Jones’ sudden retirement.