Government So Popular Only 69% Of Public Hates Them

THE LATEST political polls make for excellent reading for the minority government leaders Fine Gael as only 69% of the population openly despise how they are running the country, WWN can reveal.

With a whopping 31% of people polled stating they would vote for Fine Gael, that just leaves a massive majority of people who wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire, such good news has served as a boost to Taoiseach Varadkar’s reelection hopes.

“They’re not getting ahead of themselves but could you imagine a scenario where Fine Gael only have to strike deals with 8 or 9 independents and a small party like the Social Democrats? Sure they’d still have no mandate to get anything done but they’d still be in power, glorious power,” explained one political insider who would jump at the chance to only be hated by over two thirds of the electorate.

The steady increase in support comes after the recent referendum vote which saw a Yes vote triumph after years of hard work from so many people who are not in any way affiliated with Fine Gael.

“And if you add the news that the government have finally discovered that they have actually overstated the number of properties built in the last few years by 30,000 units, they could rise to 32% in the polls in no time at all,” added the insider, who can’t remember the last time a party was this close to being propped up by opportunist TDs looking for a new road or two in their locality.

Responding directly to the news that they are now so phenomenally popular that only 69% of people who can vote would rather gouge their own eyes out than vote for Fine Gael, one party spokesman was clearly taking the message on board.

“What if we came up with a jazzy and snappy slogan that means nothing, maybe then people would take us seriously…like ‘Leo’s Lions’ or ‘All Bad Things Still Fianna Fáil’s Fault’, yeah that’ll do it”.