Very Modern Ireland Loudly Tutting At Northern Ireland’s Abortion Laws


THE UK SUPREME Court’s rejection of an appeal from human rights campaigners over Northern Ireland’s abortion laws has given the Yes voting people of Ireland just the 4,567th opportunity to tut dismissively in the direction of Northern Ireland, decrying how it’s a shame it can’t be as astoundingly progressive as the Republic.

Very modern, progressive, compassionate, courageous, heroic and indefatigable Ireland signed heavily while rolling its eyes towards Northern Ireland in a gesture which seemed to say ‘get a load of these backwards politicians safeguarding inequality’ while still basking in the aftermath of the recent referendum to repeal the 8th amendment.

“We’re the shining beacon of liberal democracy, set out on the hopeful horizon from which the Sun drenches this equality heavy utopia in its rays,” explained Dubliner Shane Hughes, who didn’t vote, before then turning northwards to tut in the general direction of the six counties.

The disparaging tutting which conveys Ireland’s keenly felt self-satisfaction and superiority shows no signs of stopping any time soon.

“They’re not big fans of gay marriage or gay cakes up there either, let me tell you,” confirmed another Irish person, Shona Gallen, whose human rights crusade so far has consisted of just passing comment when Northern Ireland’s abortion laws crop up on the Six One News every now and again.

However, some Irish people have expressed their well meaning and condescending pity for Northern Ireland, which unlike, Ireland, is not very, very modern and fantastic altogether.