Dry Shite Upgraded To Damp Shite After Staying Out Til 11pm


A RENOWNED local dry shite has finally been upgraded to ‘damp shite’ status after making the reckless decision to stay out with friends passed 11pm on a Friday.

Ciaran Gobson, from Tramore, had previously been described by friends as the driest of dry shites while being caught engaging in prolonged conversations with him likened to a cure for insomnia.

“Ah Ciaran’s grand like, but he’s shite craic,” confirmed all of Gobson’s friends in a joint statement. However, they are currently working on recanting that very statement in the wake of the 29-year-old staying out well beyond his self-imposed 11pm limit.

“Look, we don’t like slagging off a mate but he’s the type of cunt who says ‘you can have fun without drinking, ya know?’ if you catch our drift,” read another portion of the statement, which could be retracted in the coming hours.

Normally arriving at all social occasions with a pre-prepared excuse for why he would be leaving early, Gobson, for some unknown reason unleashed his wild side last weekend by having an additional beer and blasting through the 11pm barrier. More shocking still is the fact he turned up at all, having developed a reputation for always declining invitations to nights out.

“Such behaviour isn’t consistent with a dry shite, this man is more like a damp shite,” explained socialising expert Dr. Matthew Hinley.

“A damp shite is typically still the first person to leave a night out, but they would do so at a more acceptibly late hour and might even have added to the fun of the evening by telling no more than one joke or funny anecdote,” Dr. Hinley confirmed.

Speculation is rife as to why Gobson has decided to flaunt his traditional socialising behaviour but the answer may have something to do with the fact his long term girlfriend has recently dumped him.