Local Man Too Tough To Put Hood Up In Snow
WHILE the majority of soft-shites in Ireland are wrapping up warm against the Arctic conditions brought by Storm Emma, local hard chaw Derek Canning has been spotted walking around outside without a hat or a hood up, WWN can confirm.
Firmly stating that it’s ‘not that cold’, Canning has been on several unnecessary journeys today without any form of head covering, proving once and for all that he’s not afraid of a bit of cold weather, ‘unlike you fucking women out there’.
Canning, who normally has his hoody pulled up on the hottest days of the summer, spoke exclusively to WWN about just how tough he is, and how even though he’s wearing a jacket with a hood on it, he’s going to let that thing fill with snow quicker than he’s going to cover his head with it.
“Look at that sap over there, wearing gloves… fucking gloves, like,” said Canning, turning blue with pure toughness.
“Me, I’m just out here for a stroll to the garage to get fags and scratch cards, nothing urgent but when they said don’t leave the house on the telly, that’s when I was like ‘fuck you, I’ll leave the house whenever I fucking want’. Wrap up warm? What am I, a child? You fucking wrap up warm all you want you drip. All this proves is I’m the only real man around here”.
In a display of even more toughness, Canning pointed out to us that he isn’t even wearing shoes or socks.
“No need, is there?” he sneered.