Met Éireann Throwing Out Weather Warnings Like They Were Confetti


IRELAND’S METEOROLOGICAL service Met Éireann has been accused of handing out weather warnings like they were confetti after the issuing of its 1,235th warning of 2018 drew criticism from many quarters, WWN understands.

With a snow and/or ice warning issued for 13 counties, some members of the public have asked that Met Éireann ‘relax a bit’ as they simply can’t keep up with the overwhelming barrage of warnings that the country is to descend into a hellish snowstorm.

“Fucking hell them lads are too much, it’s barely February and they’re lobbing these bad boys at us every 5 seconds. I had 9 jumpers on this morning, and now I’ll need shorts and shades by lunchtime if their latest warning is true,” one disgruntled weather experiencer Gavin Ganly shared with WWN.

Met Éireann has so far stood by their approach and momentarily addressed the public from the steps outside their offices earlier this morning.

“Sun. Snow. Volcano. Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain,” one weatherman said as he hastily threw pages detailing the next storm Ireland is set to encounter at the awaiting crowd before shooting yet more morning from a cannon while playing Kool & The Gang’s ‘Celebration’.

“Weather for everyone,” shouted a second weatherman who had raced from inside the offices with 44 more weather warnings, one of which detailed a seemingly made up phenomenon known only as a ‘seagull thunder spiral’.

It is alleged Irish meteorologists have been drunk on power since the Storm Ophelia warnings allowed them to control the movements of the general population through their catastrophic warnings as well influencing the opening ability of thousands of businesses.

“It’s all ego with those weather pricks,” confirmed one traffic reporter, who insists no one listens to him when he tells them the M50 is absolute cat.