Guide To Getting The Right Hotel For Your Wedding


IT’S the most important day of your life, and you want everything to be perfect… from flowers to favours, you want your wedding day to be absolutely perfect. And that includes picking the perfect hotel to host your reception!

You’re going to need a decent dancefloor, a cracking dinner, and most importantly, somewhere for your guests to stay so they can party the night away! You can’t have a shindig in the residents bar without some residents, right? So let’s take a look at what we need:

1) Accommodation

Hmmm… this may not be as easy as we first thought. Huge numbers of hotels around the country are fully booked at the moment, in order to provide emergency accommodation for families caught up in the housing crisis. Administration firms have set aside rooms in designated hotels for these families, many of which have no time frame for leaving emergency accommodation… which could put a dampener on your plans for an Easter wedding.

2) Accommodation

Okay, once we sort this accommodation thing, we can move on. So you’re telling me that private companies are profiting from taxpayers money by offering accommodation to homeless families? And that the fact that a homeless family is a guaranteed customer, ensuring that the room they’re in is never empty, and operates at a constant profit? So these private companies would actually lose huge sums of money, we’re talking millions here, if the government were to solve the homeless crisis in the morning? And that this is happening in hotels all across the country? And that because of this, you don’t have 30 rooms free on the last Saturday in May for people that want to go to our wedding? Fuck sake, are you serious? We’ve got aunts coming from America!

3) Solve the homelessness crisis

OK, so if we want to clear out the hotels so that we can have a good old-fashioned family wedding, what we’re going to need to do is solve a problem that the government doesn’t seem to either want to solve, or have the capacity to solve… then we’ll need to convince an entire industry that they’re better off going back to letting out rooms on a day-by-day basis rather than selling them off in blocks for months on end to a council that just want to throw money at an embarrassing problem as a stop-gap measure. Once we do that, it’s just a case of what hotel does the nicest cocktail sausages.