United Ireland Confirmed After Gerry Adams Holds Referendum In His House


EMBOLDENED by the action taken by the regional government in Catalonia at the weekend, which saw 90% of the 2.5 million people who voted in an illegal independence referendum vote to leave Spain, Sinn Féin’s Gerry Adams has successfully secured a United Ireland by holding his own referendum in his house.

“This is a mandate from the people, there can be no doubt that Ireland is now a 32-county Republic,” Adams declared after revealing that along with his wife, their dogs and his collection of teddy bears, he had voted to unite the island of Ireland.

The regional government of Gerry’s Gaff had been threatening to carry out a referendum since earlier this year and finally followed through on its promise.

“No one can question the legitimacy of a referendum that has been carried by the people and we expect the governments in Dublin and London to respect their wishes,” Adams added of the house-based border poll.

The governments here in Ireland and the UK are now under major pressure to address this significant development in the political and geographical landscape in Ireland.

The result has been widely welcomed, with the news first reaching the public via a picture on the Twitter account belonging to Adams which showed a ballot box made out of an empty biscuit tin containing the 11 ‘yes’ ballots.

“Amazing! The will of the people must not be disregarded,” confirmed one Twitter egg, tweeting its support while confirming it hoped a similar independence referendum could be held in its native country.

However, the legitimacy of the vote has been questioned after one teddy bear confirmed he had in fact voted against uniting Ireland while at least one dog confirmed it was bribed into voting yes in exchange for more walks.