New Galway Road Bypasses Tuam & Having To Think About, Ya Know


A MUCH needed addition to Galway’s road network will see the congested towns of Tuam, Claregalway and Clarinbridge bypassed in an effort to ease the number of cars clogging up roads.

The 57km stretch of road was revealed to have a second, seemingly unintended benefit with the new motorway providing locals as well as motorists from outside Galway with the opportunity to no longer have to think about that thing Tuam is known for these days.

Previously motorists had to contend with passing through Tuam as they were bombarded with dark ruminations of the inhumane treatment of countless mothers and their children.

“And it’s toll free!” remarked one relieved local, who admitted to hating the journey through Tuam and not for the traffic jams alone.

“Your mind would be going to awful dark places when it gets to thinking about it, so it’s nice to have a road that specifically caters for motorists who can’t handle that on a daily basis,” the driver of cars added.

Trial runs on the road which is set to open this afternoon have recorded impressive time saving journeys and an almost 100% reduction in people becoming teary-eyed when confronted with the sadistic, uncompassionate underbelly of Ireland’s recent past.