Fianna Fáil Now Averaging 50 Threats To Pull Support For Government Per Week


POLITICAL reporters monitoring the fortunes of the coalition government have noted that Ireland’s largest opposition party, Fianna Fáil, are now averaging 50 empty threats to pull support for the government, in what many people have described as a bid to ‘look hard’.

With posturing in the Dáil at an all time high, the Micheál Martin led party has found itself in a predictable and boring routine in recent weeks, stuck in a constant cycle of threatening to force a general election before anemically backing down.

“Micheál isn’t a great poker player, he always loses at the weekly game in Leinster House, so he’s an awful habit of bluffing, then being called on his bluff and looking like a fool,” explained one Leinster House reporter.

“He also has a really obvious ‘tell’. He says he’s going to pull support for the government and then he looks at the opinion polls and doesn’t, it’s a very obvious tell,” added the reporter.

Fianna Fáil has used serious matters such as judicial appointments and Garda scandals as reasoning to find their trust in the government wavering. However, the party has also damaged its credibility by looking for any old reason to end their confidence and supply arrangement with Fine Gael.

“The blazing rows in the Dáil don’t help us. I mean, Micheál saying he’d pull support if the Independence Alliance didn’t stop running in the corridors or how they were always taking their shoes off in the Dáil. But then he backs down,” added an unnamed Fianna Fáil TD, who admitted party colleague have taken to calling Martin ‘The Bluffmaster General’ in recent weeks.

“Micheál a bit OCD too, so when he sees we’ve only threatened to pull support for the government 29 by mid week, he races around trying to find reasons to threaten them, which explains why he called the Taoiseach ‘a disgrace’ in the Dáil last week when Varadkar said he thought The Godfather Part III was a decent movie”.