Scientists Are Sending Israel & Palestine For Pints In A Dublin Pub To See If It Will Bring About Peace


IN WHAT is being described as a ‘make or break’ attempt to solve ongoing strife in the Middle East, a group of scientists, described by their peers as ‘well-meaning idiots’ have begun preparation for sitting Israel and Palestine down for a few pints in a quiet Dublin pub.

Scientists from the experimental division of the International Institute for Conflict Resolution (IICR) have booked out a corner of The Temple Bar for the entirety of this week, in the hope that Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu and State of Palestine leader Mahmoud Abbas can trash out their differences and emerge with hangovers and a binding peace agreement.

“I can’t begin to describe how stupid my colleagues are and how stupid an idea this is. Abbas for one, doesn’t drink and at 82, can he really handle 10 pints and a trad session?” queried Dr. Lucas Fenning, a scientist who also works at the IICR.

However, Dr. Fenning was willing to concede that he believed so passionately in the pursuit of peace to the point that he would be willing to try anything.

“If someone whips out a rendition of Danny Boy, you just never know if that could be what tips the leaders towards a long lasting and meaningful solution,” Dr. Fenning added.

One of the scientists behind the idea spoke at length to WWN about searching for a solution for peace in the Middle East in a pub where the toilets regularly clog up.

“Ah, be grand craic like, they might be a little standoff-ish to begin with, but after a few pints in them they’ll be flying. Our research indicates that if they have 7 pints over the course of three hours we could be close to ‘no man, I love you’ territory which could see territory returned to Palestine,” confirmed an optimistic, if misguided, Dr. Alan O’Brien.

Dr. O’Brien went on to deny that he may be guilty of believing too much in the power of the overpriced tourist experience of Dublin.

“If you’re trying to tell me Irish dancing and consistent culchie shouts of ‘yeeeow’ can’t solve the greatest peace problem of our times, then you obviously don’t believe in science,” a defiant Dr. O’Brien countered.

Abbas and Netanyahu begin their first night on the session at 6.30pm this evening.