CCTV In Shop Reveals Damning Evidence Of Man’s Bald Spot

A WATERFORD man is today assessing the extent of his follicular deforestation, having received damning confirmation of his rampant hair loss via the CCTV monitor above the door in his local Dunnes.

Keith Marrian, 36, had popped into the store to get milk and bread and smokes on his way home from work last night, when the horrific extent of his bald spot became apparent as he glanced up on his way in the door.

The Dungarvan native stood transfixed for several moments, side-stepping back and forth until he was sure that the figure in the grey-and-white screen was in actual fact himself, before breaking down in tears when he realised that his once-luscious mane of hair had become something that resembled the grass underneath the goals on a GAA pitch.

“I thought to myself, who’s that baldy bastard,” sobbed Marrian, holding a mirror up to the back of his head while looking into the bathroom cabinet.

“Then I saw that he was wearing the same jacket I was… holding the same bag-for-life that I was… it was me. Everyone I had asked had told me that I still had a full head of hair; my wife, my mam… turns out it was all an intricate web of lies”.

Marrian went on to outline his plan of ignoring his baldness, by never looking at a CCTV camera again.