EU Blare ‘Last Christmas’ By Wham In Direction Of Britain


AN increasingly forlorn and upset EU has begun acting out in the manner of a jilted lover that is stuck contemplating memories of the recent past; a time when it really thought Britain was in this for the long haul.

Using various sound systems to blast music in the general direction Britain, the EU is behaving in a similar fashion to a besotted teenager – by allowing a maudlin pop song to speak to its true feelings of heartbreak.

“Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away, this year to save me from tears…” blared Wham’s quintessential song of Christmas heartbreak blasting over the towns and cities of Britain, with the EU’s intention still entirely unclear.

Friends close to the EU admitted they had seen something like this coming for a long time.

“Oh, you ask the EU if it was getting on okay, and it was all smiles, but you could sense under that smile there was a world of heartache,” the source explained to WWN.

Britain, which has grown closer by a margin of millimetres to a cohesive Brexit strategy in recent months, had admitted to being confused by the mixed signals sent by the EU.

“I dunno, are they trying to make us feel guilty? I’m not sure I get it, to be honest,” Britain explained, “only the other week they were sending us horrible texts at 3am in the morning calling us a whore and a slut”.

The EU keen to ensure they were not misrepresented in the increasingly petty back and forth between the parties clarified things by stating ‘we actually called you a whore-slut, but that’s typical of you to twist our words and play the victim’.

‘Last Christmas’ has been playing on repeat for 2 hours at the time of writing.

article’s publication.