Standoff Continues As Broadband Contract Refuses To Release Hostages


A TENSE standoff in a Kildare neighbourhood continues tonight, as members of a broadband-providing cartel refuse to allow a group of locals to be free of a 48-month contract.

Sean Killihan, Sheila O’Malley and Declan Harris had been sharing a 3-bedroom apartment for the past 6 months, but had decided to part company and move elsewhere to pursue employment and a larger house.

However, as the trio got ready to hand back their keys to the landlord of the property, their broadband provider crashed through the door and demanded that they pay up the remaining 42 months of their contract.

Reports have confirmed that Killihan, O’Malley and Harris hadn’t really thought much about the long-term ramifications of their broadband contract when they signed up, admitting that they just went with what seemed the best value at the time.

As police surround the apartment in a bid to defuse the situation, the broadband provider in question has stated that there is “no way” to escape the dilemma without seeing out the contract.

“They can pay the remaining months upfront, or one of them can continue paying monthly on their own, or they can stay in the house… frankly I don’t care” reads a note from within the house.

“They signed the contract, they have to live with it. Students living in rented accommodation, people sharing apartments, people who only intend to live somewhere for a short amount of time… you all need broadband, so you get a contract for 48 months without thinking about what happens in the summer when you go home or when you move house, and it’s my fault that you have to pay the remainder? You signed an agreement, and damn it, you’ll pay for it!”

The situation continues, with no clear solution to the problem in sight.

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