60% Of Irish Bars Failing Basic ‘Ceol Agus Craic’ Inspections

AN increasing number of Irish pubs claiming to be the epicentre of amazing craic agus ceoil are being pursued for fraud.

“Often pubs have a bodhran and a flat cap hung up on a wall and then decide they’re the only place in Ireland that has old lads murdering trad ballads in corner while people try to enjoy themselves,” explained head of the garda fraud unit Sergeant Colm Drury.

‘Ceol Agus Craic’ inspections were put in place in 2012 after one Polish owned pub operating in Waterford, Craicow, angered the Irish loving community by claiming it also had ‘crap music and drunk people wearing the ear off attractive women’.

“We inspect all pubs which make the ‘craic claim’, majority of the time the premises are just a bog standard disappointing pub which plays the same four Chieftain songs around the clock on a shitty stereo while staff ignore you,” Sgt Drury added.

“If it only become ‘craic’ after you’ve drank so much there’s a risk you’ll go blind then I’m afraid the pub will be fined for false advertising and there may a court summons”.

It is estimated over 60% of traditional Irish pubs offering craic agus ceoil are guilty of perpetrating an elaborate fraud.

“It’s the Americans I feel sorry for,” explained one former patron of one such pub, The Jumping Leprechaun, “they think Sean-Nós is some lad called Sean singing the Fields of Athenry while pissing on the floor of the toilet”.