Man Rescued After Three Days Trapped In Under Armour Top


AFTER being forced to drink nothing but his own sweat for three days, Waterford man Niall Farrell was finally cut free from his long-sleeved Under Armour top by a rescue team in his Dungarvan home.

Farrell, 26, had recently made the mistake of purchasing the navy-blue compression top in a medium size, thinking that it would make him look really rugged and muscular while he walked around his local gym looking at himself in the mirror.

However, the full-time fitness dodger didn’t take into account the tightness of the sportswear, and as he prepared himself for a shower at home he found himself hopelessly entangled by the sweat-drenched cloth.

Fitfully attempting to pull the top over his head, Farrell banged into his wardrobe, knocking himself out for nearly 12 hours. When he awoke, he remained pinned together by the Under Armour top, until a unit of the fire brigade cut him free this morning.

“We were called to the home of Mr. Farrell when a neighbour spotted him through the window, after family had issued a missing person’s alert,” said Fire Service spokesperson Jim Kelly.

“This is not the first time we’ve seen a person trapped by Under Armour, but it’s one of the longest Under Armour entrapments we’ve had in Waterford. Mr. Farrell is very lucky that he wasn’t killed, or worse”.

Under Armour clothing remains freely available in Ireland, and posers have been warned to wear it with care.