Entire Population Of Dublin ‘Up Themselves’ Confirms Rural Man


RURAL man Colm Hennessy has taken time out from his busy schedule to confirm to other regulars in The Dirty Plough pub that ‘them lot in Dublin, they’re up themselves, the lot of them’.

The initial remarks were made on foot of a disturbing incident in the Dirty Plough several evenings previous, when a man with a soft, wimp Dublin accent asked the barman if he had any ‘Belguim wheat beers’.

Hennessy reinforced and bolstered his discovery with a number of observations, chief among them the accusation that a number of male Dublin residents drink ‘fancy coffees’ and don’t see anything wrong with ‘going for a run’.

“The state of some of them, and any of the children reared here that then went up, sure they’re even worse,” Hennessy further elaborated, adding that some of those returning to the small village of Kilmullet had ‘filthy Tom Cruise accents on them’.

While the county of Dublin has over 1 million individuals living within its borders, the 59-year-old mechanic estimated that as many as “the fuckin’ lot of them” were disappearing up into their holes, such was their up-themselves-ness.

“I’ve never met one I didn’t think would rather be spending his time pulling his lad off while looking at a picture of himself,” Hennessy concluded.