Disney Princesses Radicalised By ISIS


IN the information vacuum of the Islamic State held territory, news is often slow to filter out and this is true of possibly the most harrowing episode in the terrorist group’s existence thus far.

Several prominent Disney princesses have been radicalised by ISIS using a sophisticated online effort involving months and months of extensive contact made over social media, WWN has learned.

Belle, so beloved of animation, fairytale and movie fans the world over was contacted over IM by the online wing of the oppressive caliphate-pursuing organisation, and only last week fled to Syria to ISIS held territory there.

“She had become disillusioned with a western world that put material worth ahead and morals and so forth,” a distraught Lumiére shared with WWN, “she was always a bit non-conformist when it came to the West’s notions of idolising beauty above all else, and those ISIS bastards exploited that”.

It is believed the carefully orchestrated plan has so far resulted in two more Disney princesses fleeing to Syria, with many more earmarked for radicalisation later down the line.

“We’re aware of the problem,” Kevin Garlin of the CIA explained when asked about rumours earlier this week, “we believe Elsa, growing weary of her native cold climate, was enticed by fraudulent promises of all year sunshine. And Jasmine too has fled, but we feel owing to the colour of her skin, we don’t need to explain that one”.

“Simply put ISIS hate our freedom, and these women represent the values and freedoms most treasured by many of us. These women, the majority of whom have at one point been rescued by men or given reason to go on by men, are the antithesis of what ISIS believes women should be,” Garlin concluded.

Security experts have decried ISIS’s actions, which have left the public in a state of shock.

“They’re clever, ISIS, they knew this would hurt more than any loss of life in the Middle East,” confirmed military expert Simon Carton, who went on to detail the power ISIS’s Buzzfeed style gif articles featuring the princesses could have in their propaganda war.