“My A&E Hell” – Leo Varadkar

MINISTER for Health Leo Varadkar has spoken for the first time of the hellish conditions in A&E departments around the country and how something must be done.

Speaking exclusively to WWN in between photo ops, the minister cut a vulnerable and emotional figure.

“Honestly, I don’t think people realise just how bad the situation with the HSE has gotten,” Leo said as he buried his head in his hands.

“I mean, this could seriously dent my chances of becoming Taoiseach,” he added, utterly devastated.

The Fine Gael TD looked shattered as the personal toll it could have on his aspirations hit home.

We met far away from the overcrowded and underfunded chaotic hospitals, but the embarrassingly long queues were having an effect on him.

“Jesus, the queue in this Starbucks is a fucking disgrace, you’d think they’d invest in more staff,” Leo said as his voice trembled with anger, his secretary tells me later, he’s a right prick when he doesn’t get his morning coffee or his daily fawning piece in the papers.

But suddenly the kernel of a solution to the health crisis sparked in his eyes as he realised what he had just said.

“If Starbucks could hire extra staff to combat long queues then, then… Then I could turn up the job announcement and get in a photo op with someone. People will forget all about the HSE, and I can still be the next and greatest Toaiseach,” the 30 something year old enthused.

Our interview ended and the minister skipped happily off towards the horizon, delighted to have solved the problem.