News Publications To Be Briefed On What Viral Actually Means


AFTER a consistent expression of anger from regular readers of news and entertainment publications online over what publications believe constitutes something being ‘viral’, comes the release of several helpful guidelines.

Sourced from the collective enviable knowledge and wisdom of viral connoisseurs, also known as ‘people’, the No, That’s Not Fucking ‘Viral’ guidebook aims to aid helpless journalists understand the difference between viral news items and just any old shit they put up and slap the word ‘viral’ onto.

“I suppose we compiled the guidelines for what viral, in the pop culture sense, actually means because we were driven demented by a video with 12 views of an Irish postman whistling As Gaeilge being referred to as a ‘mega massive fucking huge viral superstar’ by over 4,000 newspapers and websites,” explained consumer of content online Dermot Mallon.

Sighting the clear inability of journalists to understand even the most basic explanations of what viral means, Mallon hopes this new guide will help the intellectually impaired individuals from embarrassing themselves any further.

“We’ve invited them round to mine next week for a sit down, and we’ll just spell it out to them really; that saying something is viral doesn’t actually make it viral. We’ll lock the doors and won’t let anyone leave until they get it into their skulls,” Mallon confirmed.

Others responsible for drafting the guidelines expressed some sympathy with the media.

“It’s just the fact they’ve studied journalism for 4 years in college and they’ve obviously had particularly poor lectures on what makes something viral, and you end up feeling for them. Spending their money on such a poor education. The lack of basic viral education is startling,” concerned viral video and picture watcher Hannah Cummings explained to WWN.