94% Of News Occurs In Dublin, Irish Media Confirms


AFTER receiving sustained criticism from much of the media consuming country, media outlets have hit back, defending the fact that they seem to only care about what happens in the capital.

Despite many members of the public pointing out that much of the Dublin based media seem allergic to regularly covering events in rural cities, towns and villages, the media have, in response, pointed out that statistically speaking 94% of news occurs in Dublin.

“There’s nothing we can do about it really, it’s not our fault nothing newsworthy happens in about 21 counties,” Dublin journalist Aiden Breen told WWN.

“We try to meet the non-Dublin news quota with a token story about a hilarious sign in a pub in Sligo, or some shite like that,” he added, “I’m not sure what else we can do?”

Some complaints involved the issue of rural suicides being relegated to page 39 in several publications, with editors opting to lead with the story of an Arts student in UCD wearing a bikini while standing next to several Dublin businessmen who were launching a new app.

“Ah c’mon are you honestly saying that’s close to a fair fight,” an unnamed editor queried, “she’s a part time model from Dublin holding a large plastic inflatable phone in Dublin…that’s always going to be front page material,” the editor confirmed.

If these media trends continue into 2016 a total of 109% of all news will occur in Dublin.