Republicans Aim To Move Forward By Living In The Past


A GROUP of Republicans who turned a march marking the anniversary of the initiating of internment without trial in Northern Ireland into an impromptu petrol bomb throwing competition have confirmed that they intend to move forward by living in the past.

As PSNI officers blocked the parade’s passage into Belfast city centre, several members of the nationalist community used petrol bombs to assert their rights to peacefully march on the city’s streets.

“I had a feeling those fucking PSNI bastards wouldn’t let us peacefully parade into Belfast so I brought a few petrol bombs just in case,” 15-year-old Donny Higgins explained.

The disturbances contrasted unfavourably with much of the parade up until that point, which was well attended by what witnesses have called ‘non-empty headed idiots’.

“How can we move forward if they won’t let us mark the imperialist policies which robbed us of our freedom,” added Higgins who was born some months after the signing of the Good Friday Agreement.

The PSNI barbarically implemented the use of water canons after coming under fire from petrol bombs and stones from a small crowd of nationalist youths.

“Typical of men taking the Queen’s shilling,” remarked 16-year-old Fergal O’Reilly, “of course we’re going to throw petrol bombs and stones first, because we know they intend to use water cannons on us afterwards”.

Several prominent scientists have become increasingly intrigued by Republican residents in the North as they appeared to be living in the past despite lacking any time travelling device.