42 Soul Destroying Jobs Announced For Waterford


POSITIVE news for people who have decent well paid jobs but like hearing about other people getting slightly shitter jobs as several companies in Waterford have announced 42 new jobs.

The jobs, poorly paid and with long unforgiving hours come mostly in the services sector with many locals having the chance to serve impatient and ungrateful members of the Irish public.

“We’re looking for the kind of candidate that doesn’t really have a choice and is desperate for a bit of work so will take any old shite,” owner and manager of Lowry Service Station John Lowry told WWN.

“Skills we’re looking for? Really just an appetite for listening to any old moaning and complaints from a variety of pricks. It is the sheer variety of pricks that the employee will deal it that really makes this position stand out,” Lowry added who is also hiring 3 breakfast roll technicians.

The Government welcomes the news, but insist there is nothing that you can do about the soul destroying nature of the work involved.

“42 jobs announced anywhere is great news, but look I think we all have to accept that thanks to the 9-to-5 we’re all slowly having our souls chipped away at but it’s probably best to ignore it,” a spokesman for the Government explained to WWN.

“The business owners deserve great credit because they could have stuck all these on JobsBridge for the craic, but they didn’t which actually is kind of stupid on their part,” added the spokesman.

Future employees in the businesses are already accepting the soul destroying nature of the new jobs.

“Sure doesn’t bother me boi, I had to sign my soul away with the last job I had so they’re getting nothing from me this time. Jokes on them,” Anthony Doyle, potential employee told WWN.