1 In 5 Children Of Gay Parents Become Axe-Wielding Murderers

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IN yet another hammer blow to the secret underground gay conspiracy known as the Marriage Equality movement, WWN can exclusively reveal that 1 in 5 children of gay parents go on to become axe-wielding murderers.

Figures obtained by WWN via a source who was at pains to state he had no affiliation with the Iona Institute whatsoever, show that as many as 20% of children with gay parents become homicidal maniacs.

Fresh from a lively debate on new RTÉ current affairs show Claire Bynre Live, these figures explode the myth that gay people are actually people too.

“I love gay people as much the next guy who fucking despises them, but claims to be friends with a few in order to somehow lend my argument some false authority,” explained straight man Paul Tiernan.

“But the idea that these people want to marry and have children is a bit icky,” added Tiernan while making a bit of an uncomfortable face to illustrate his point.

It is believed straight parents, scientifically proven to never let a child down in any way, will be the only hope for the human race if it hopes to reduce the number of axe-wielding maniacs in the world currently.

While WWN has not seen the research behind the axe-wielding claims it can confirm that it has seen first hand the words ‘1 in 5 children of gay parents become axe-wielding murderers’ printed on a page thus rendering the information irrefutable.

“I think the tide is changing in favour of those against whatever is it the Marriage Equality guys are for,” explained Tiernan citing a recent instance whereby by a 78-year-old celibate man dressed in a white robe told some people about the ins and outs of marriage.

“That will surely change the minds of the 80% of under 25s who are in favour of Marriage Equality,” added Tiernan enthusiastically.

It is still unclear as to how the music of Elton John figures in this shocking news.

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