New Guy Staying Late At Work To Impress Better Cut That Shit Out, Thinks Office

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EMPLOYEES at Gormley & Johnson have been in active talks this morning in order to reach a consensus on how best to deal with the new guy who keeps staying late to impress his new bosses.

Eoghan Kavanagh started working at the Dublin accountancy firm last week and has already made a terrible impression on his fellow employees by making a good impression on his employers.

Kavanagh has taken to spending inordinate amounts of time looking incredibly busy just as he superiors enter his field of vision, making him stand out as a hard working member of staff.

“How do we politely tell him to cut this shit out?” Emma Ring, a coworker of Kavanagh’s asked a room full of her fellow employees.

While the meeting was informal in nature, many employees present expressed their desire to see a detailed strategy on how to get Kavanagh to ‘stop making us look bad by staying ’til 9pm like a complete and utter bastard’.

Speculation during the impromptu meeting held in the disabled toilets on the ground floor turned to whether or not Kavanagh was doing any actual real work when he stayed by 5.30pm on the button.

“I hear he’s finishing off other people’s work after he goes home as well,” one employee said before being told that was just a story management circulated to scare people.

Close inspection of CCTV footage obtained by the employees confirmed that it appeared Kavanagh was doing genuine work evidenced by the fact he scrunched up his face and squinted when staring closely at his computer screen.

“I know this sounds crazy lads but could we like, actually, like, murder him?” ventured office weirdo Nigel to resounding applause.

A drawing of the short straw ceremony will take place later this afternoon in the disabled toilets to determine which employee will be chosen to murder Kavanagh.

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