Dublin Man To Slowly Ease Himself Back Into Productivity By Around June

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lazy office worker

DUBLIN man Gavin Jennings has taken his first steps back into productivity at work as he returned to his office after time off during Christmas and New Year festivities.

While reluctant to throw himself too quickly back into the rough and tumble of selling home alarm systems over the phone, Gavin did reveal a timeline to WWN.

“Ah, you know yourself it is very tough to get back into the swing of things in January, me mind is a sea of comedy Christmas specials, very hard to transition from that back to scaring auld ones into buying a new house alarm,” Gavin explained to WWN.

Gavin predicted that his current productivity was at as little as 10% of his peak levels as evidenced by the fact he was choosing to eat his breakfast roll while lying flat out on his desk.

“You just unplug the phones, and then act all shocked and that when the IT lads are like ‘are ya stupid? The phone was unplugged?’ It’s the perfect plan,” Gavin added.

It is speculated that the majority of Irish people will also ease themselves back into their working week with many putting in what is commonly referred to as a ‘decent day’s work’ by early March.

“Ah, now there’s people who would be rushing into work today but you’d do yourself an injury, honestly, you would, so I think slow and steady does, it is the only way,” Gavin offered as he placed a pillow against his head as he took a nap in a toilet cubicle.

Gavin was keen not to commit himself to a specific date, but he did confirm that the Friday before he goes away on his holidays in June will probably be when he approaches peak productivity again.

“Ah, I’ll be blitzing out emails by then I’d say, sending in loads of those funny videos and vines to the lads in the office for an hour or two and then yeah, that’s me off for the holidays and sure when I get back it’ll be all about winding down as you get to Christmas,” Gavin confirmed.

Irish companies estimate they lose €45 billion in revenue due to workers lack of productivity on the first Monday back to work of a new year.

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