‘Session On’ As Micky Money To Increase By 5 Cans Of Dutch Gold Per Child


PARENTS of children are to see an increase in five cans of Dutch gold per child in their micky money allowance every month, WWN can reveal today.

Minister for Social Protection Joan Burton is to announce the surprise hike in today’s budget.

This means the Child Benefit allowance, which is paid monthly to all parents, irrespective of income levels, will increase from 130 cans of beer to 135 cans.

“We’re gonna have some session when this kicks in,” said mother of eight, Lucy Ryan from Tallaght. “Myself and the girls do be out on the town the first Tuesday of every month, so this will be a nice little bonus now for me.”

Controversially, the payment was cut over a number of years due to austerity measures and caused huge embarrassment to the Labour party, who promised to protect it when originally joining the Fine Gael led coalition.

“Hopefully, parents can now enjoy a few tins on us every month,” a chuffed Joan Burton told WWN earlier.

Meanwhile, Finance Minister Noonan is expected to increase the price of a packet of cigarettes by 40 cents. Sinn Féin Leader Gerry Adams welcomed the hike, stating the knock-on-effect to the counterfeit cigarette trade will certainly help “the cause”.