Co-Worker Who Mentioned Christmas Immediately Fired



NEWS reaching WWN from the Waterford business community today suggests that one woman working in Hegarty Financial Consultants was fired after mentioning ‘***stmas’ in August.

The employee in question, Deirdre Hagan, had been with Hegarty for 12 years, but her employment with the firm was immediately terminated following her decision to inform several co-workers of the exact number of days to go until Christmas Day.

“I think she would have got away with a pay cut or two weeks suspension only for the fact she had a big smiley head on her when she mentioned the c-word,” shared co-worker and avid Christmas-avoider Alan Scales.

CEO of Hegarty Financial Consultants Ronan Finan spoke to WWN about taking the extremely difficult decision to fire Miss Hagan upon hearing she had used the c-word.

“Easiest decision I’ve had to make in 20 years of business. We run a respectable and thoughtful business here, and if someone thinks she can come in here, on a Monday of all days, spouting that c-word propaganda, well, I’ll fire that fucker twice,” an enraged Mr. Finan said as he searched his office for something to throw against the wall.

“We are in the top 1,000 businesses in Waterford that operate a 5-day working week and Miss Hagan obviously thinks that is the sort of place that accepts contemptible utterances such as ‘not long til Christmas now lads, ha ha’. I’ve a right mind to pass on her details to the guards,” Mr. Finan added as he picked up the nearest intern, throwing him against the wall, further illustrating how incensed he was by Miss Hagan’s actions.

In previous years, bright and bubbly co-workers only began mentioning Christmas in early October, using variations of the phrase ‘oh my God lads, Christmas is creeping up now’ but the worrying trend of people choosing to bring up the December date has seen a rise of 79% in office violence such is the anger felt for so-called ‘smiley’ and ‘happy fuckers’.

Workers unions are divided on the phenomenon, but some have reportedly covered up the murders of several workers who have brought up Christmas as early as August, thus hinting at where their loyalties lie on this issue.