Culchie To Continue Hamming Up Accent While In Dublin

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A Donegal man has revealed plans to continue hamming up his accent during conversations with the people of Dublin city, where he now works and lives.

Hailing from the small town of Milford, 28-year-old Thomais O’Laughlin intends to place extra emphasis on higher syllables and drag out any “aww” sounds while speaking to Dubliners, as well as including the words “wee”, “clane” and “wile” wherever possible.

O’Laughlin, currently residing in the Phibsboro area of Dublin city, is one of thousands of culchies who go to extraordinary lengths to make themselves as unintelligible as possible to the townsfolk of Dublin. Culchies will regularly speed up their dialect when talking with non-culchies, and then talk in a more regulated manner when speaking with fellow bog-ninjas. Coupled with as much impenetrable, nonsensical slang as possible, culchies use this tactic as a self-defense mechanism to baffle and confuse Dubliners who they feel would otherwise lord over them.

“Some Dubs do give you wile stick when they hear you’re from the country so they do,” said O’Laughlin, speaking at normal pace to WWN’s Culchie correspondent.

“So like a lot of lads I know from the country, we do speak wile fast and leave them clane confused, so they’re the ones that look fuckin’ stupid instead of us. I work in a delivery depot with a gang of lads and I make sure to bark at them as fast as possible using as many wee sayings as I can, while giving them a semi-crazy look, just to keep them on their toes”.

Although this common sod-hopper tactic of speaking thickly is used mainly to confuse city folk, further research revealed other reasons behind it. Pressed further, O’Laughlin confided in WWN that by keeping his patois as culchie as possible when in Dublin, he reduces the risk of being slagged for having a Dublin accent when he visits home.

“When a culchie is living in Dublin and goes home for a weekend, his kin do be listening out for any change in his accent,” sobbed O’Laughlin, visible moved by his plight.

“If there’s even a hint of “eight” rhyming with “grate” when I talk to the people back in Milford, they clane slag the shite out of me and tell me to fuck off back to Dublin. So by keeping the accent thick when in Dublin, it helps me talk normally when I go back home. This way I can go out and have a few wee pints on a clane wile night without fear of making a clane wile show of myself”.

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