The Government believes its current strategy of blaming the previous Fianna Fáil government for absolutely everything will see it safely through to the next general election and beyond.
Following the recent local and European elections the current political climate in Ireland has rarely been more delicate, leading current majority coalition partners Fine Gael to reconsider key policies.
“Well, we got the Fine Gael ministers together in a room,” Government insider Séan Lavin exclusively told WWN on condition of anonymity, “and they had a long and passionate discussion on the direction they are taking Ireland and its people in”.
The emergency meeting is believed to have lasted twelve seconds and was led by Taoiseach Enda Kenny. At some point in the opening three seconds of the meeting it is rumoured the Taoiseach asked those in attendance if they agreed that the Government should carry on blaming Fianna Fáil for absolutely everything, regardless of the level of improbability.
The following two seconds were amongst the most tense of the current Taoiseach’s reign until finally, after what seemed like four seconds the entire room yelped and hollered in agreement.
“Fine Gael today reaffirmed its commitment to the Irish people and more importantly to blaming the last shower for the shite stuff going on,” a Government minister shared with WWN.
Things which are covered in the ‘Keep Blaming Fianna Fáil For Everything’ policy document seen by WWN include; the weather, the economy (if it’s doing badly), stubbing your toe, unemployment, the church, unattractive suitors, zips refusing to zip up properly and your general quality of life.
Fine Gael’s current policy will see them through to 2016 by which time 100% of the Irish public’s anger will be completely refocused on Enda Kenny and his cabinet.