Talking About The Weather To Replace All Human Interaction By Sunday
Leading sociologists have warned today that every utterance out of the mouths of Irish men and women will relate solely to the weather by this Sunday.
Dr Clare Moriarty has blamed a perfect storm of circumstances that has led to the worrying development: “With the sustained sunshine recently people felt pride, hope and a slight hint of erotic attachment to the weather and now with showers cascading down we can predict the weather will be the only topic of conversation for the nation.”
While this may seem like an amusing tidbit of information WWN has been assured by experts that it may spell trouble for Ireland and its’ people.
“With such highs experienced people began being nicer to their fellow Man, neighbours would greet each other and such but now the rain will bring untold depression forming a melting pot of disappointment, anger and as I said before a slight hint of erotic attachment which we can’t really explain.” explained Dr. Moriarty.
It is estimated that talking about the weather has reduced productivity in the country to an all time low, costing the exchequer countless millions.
The Government have remained tight lipped on the matter, but Dr. Moriarty and her colleagues have made their opinions known to the coalition.
“When we reach Friday,” warned Dr. Moriarty “we’ll find ourselves locked into base forms of communications; ah it looks like it’s going to rain, don’t like those clouds one bit”.
Sources have revealed that the Army is on its highest alert since the great Chomp bar shortage of 1998.