LOOKING like a man with none of weight of the world on his shoulders, former British prime minister David Cameron surveyed the sun-kissed sands after Theresa May’s Brexit deal was voted down in parliament, gently chuckling to himself “rather her than me” before funneling up the last of a pornstar martini through a straw, WWN can exclusively reveal.
Cameron, famous for allegedly fucking a dead pig and then fucking over a dead empire by forcing a referendum on membership of the EU all because a few anti-EU MPs were giving him grief has been enjoying life post-Brexit referendum in a way few people have been able to.
The former PM made the decision to jet off to Mauritius after members of the media insisted on asking his opinion on the small matter of his central role in placing Britain on a course for certain financial peril.
“Theresa looks like a hallowed out puppet from The Dark Crystal, God love her. She should take a break, get some Sun. All ex-PMs do it after completely twatting up every single sensible policy or option,” confirmed Cameron, who’s incompetence ia rewarded with regular and lucrative speech engagements.
“All a bit of harmless fun though”.
In related news Scientists have confirmed British politician’s skulls are infinitely thicker than first though.
“Stop. Honestly, stop. No, dont. Just stop, there’s no point. No fact or common sense can permeate their skulls,” confirmed an exhausted scientist.
Elsewhere, Theresa May has locked herself in her bedroom and is playing Adele’s ‘Set Fire To The Rain’ on repeat.
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Local Student Will Not Purchase Anything Without A Student DiscountPosted by Waterford Whispers News on Thursday, 14 February 2019