Media Validates Noam Chomsky’s Life’s Work


REVERED linguist and a defining voice in media criticism Noam Chomsky has thanked international media for launching a nuclear missile at irony and obliterating it into a billionaire pieces after a number of outlets parroted reports of the academic’s death without bothering to fact check the information.

While a living and breathing Chomsky is said to be disappointed at the news of his death, he has taken some solace in the fact it underpins and validates a lifetime of intellectual arguments and critiques of the profit-orientated media ecosystem.

“This the shit I be talking about,” explained Chomsky, reportedly recovering at his home in Brazil from a recent stroke.

A strident critic of media and its role as a status-quo supporting propaganda machine, most famously detailed in his and Edward Herman’s work Manufacturing Consent, Chomsky confirmed that try as they might the media could not manufacture his premature death into a reality.

“I’m still alive, bitches,” confirmed Chomsky, who is remembered by WWN in the obituary section of this publication as a controversial figure due to his comments of the Srebrenica Genocide.

Elsewhere, news publications fronted up and apologised profusely for the high profile and embarrassing error.

“Earlier we brought you reports of Noam Chomsky’s death, we then brought you the news this was not true and we’ve no idea why you’d think he was dead, and now we bring you news in the passive voice detailing how we play no part in such instances which undermine the credible of the media,” confirmed several news bulletins.

UPDATE: The CIA has confirmed that whenever Chomsky does in fact die, they apologise for taking so long.