Man Lost In Netherworld Between Christmas & New Year’s Which Knows No Time Or Date

HAVING FALLEN through the floor of his sitting room which is littered in empty Roses wrappers, discarded cans and plates that once housed leftover turkey sandwiches, local man Trevor Larkin has been plunged into an alternate dimension.

A dimension not bound by the strict confines and conditions of the universe we know and understand, a dimension that makes a mockery of all attempts to decipher all times, dates, previous or upcoming plans and commitments.

“Jaysus, might head to bed it’s getting late, anyway happy new year love and all that. Kids, don’t stay up too late, see you in 2024 haha,” Larkin remarked to his wife and kids despite it actually being 11am on the 28th of December, and Larkin only having dragged himself downstairs at 10.037am..

Untethered from conventional time due to this time of year’s slippery unknowable nature, Larkin somehow simultaneously felt like the first day of the new year was imminent and yet, Christmas Day could have occurred six months ago for all he knew.

“Well at least I know it’s a Monday,” said Larkin as he attempted to gather his bearings this Thursday, a day which summoned forth some connection in his mind he was unable to fully comprehend.

“Love, are my Mam and aunt coming today, is it?” Larkin said of Thursday, the day he needs to put out the recycling bin or face being left with more plastic and cardboard by a Wish warehouse in rural China.

Satisfied he had regained some control over his concept of time and place, Larkin decided to take his son for a haircut he had already taken him to get yesterday.