Wolfe Tones Gigs Should Be Dubbed With Actor’s Voice, Demand Fine Gael


IN THE WAKE of a gig attended by people at a music festival and the subsequent manufactured media furore and counter furore, Fine Gael has made demands over all future Wolfe Tones gigs.

“Just like Gerry Adams during the Troubles on the BBC, The Wolfe Tones gigs in Ireland should be overdubbed with a boring as sin monotone voice,” offered Fine Gael’s junior minister for pearl clutching.

If Fine Gael’s demands are met forthcoming The Wolfe Tones gigs would see the band sing live but with a 5 second delay allowing a voiceover artist to dub over voices lest a song about fighting British death squads in early 20th century Ireland radicalise anyone.

“We’ve got the perfect voice that is so void of charisma people automatically tune out,” added the junior minister offering the services of the Taoiseach Leo Varadkar.

“We wouldn’t ever ‘Section-31’ a band, sure we don’t need to when the media is happy to slap down political art of any kind”.

Asked for his opinion on the matter Green Party leader Eamon Ryan stated he has always been ‘for the reintroduction of wolves in Ireland’.

Elsewhere, Bertie Ahern said younger generations should be made aware of the island’s history and the terrible crimes committed against innocent people in the name of a warped political ideology and self-interest as long as that doesn’t include the Mahon Tribunal.