Dee Forbes Devastated To Learn That By Resigning She Can’t Be Forced To Attend Oireachtas Committee

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COLLAPSING to the ground and throwing her fists skywards, former RTÉ Director General Dee Forbes is said to be ‘distraught’ and ‘devastated’ after a former colleague pointed out that her sudden resignation meant she could not be compelled to attend an Oireachtas committee session relating to payments made to Ryan Tubridy.

“Curses, the one thing I absolutely didn’t want to happen,” cried Forbes, who can now avoid Q&A session of TDs and senators.

“In her haste to fully take responsibility for this current hoopla, Dee has unwittingly rendered herself an ex-employee and thus outside the remit of the Public Accounts Committee and the Oireachtas Media Committee,” added a friend, who also stated that Forbes was so upset by this she couldn’t even hear him say ‘you could just attend anyway’.

As fallout from the shameful affair continues, the majority of RTÉ staff are to spend the day jabbing needles into their Ryan Tubridy voodoo dolls.

Such is the long-term reputational damage to Forbes as a result of the payments, the Cork woman is expected to be made head of another semi-state body by the week’s end, in addition to raking in consulting fees.

Elsewhere, the public has been warned by RTÉ top brass that if licence fee funding takes a hit due to this scandal audiences could be forced to rely on world class broadcasters from around the world for their television content.

UPDATE: A number of TDs who failed to fill out their Dáil register of interests honestly and accurately have said they can’t wait for their big moment to act outraged during the Dáil committee’s grilling of RTÉ.

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