“Just Give Us The Tallafornia Episodes & We’ll Be On Our Way” Hackers Tell Virgin Media
HACKERS who have interrupted regular programming at Virgin Media TV have confirmed that they will undo the chaos they have wrought if the company give into their nefarious demands.
“All 22 episodes, ads cut out. Hard copy DVD,” confirmed the hackers.
A wave of relief reportedly washed over IT specialists at the broadcaster upon learning of the demands.
“How were we going to exploit hacked data anyway? Take the piss out of someone for watching 4.9 million minutes of Love Island? Watching the 6 O’clock Show at 11pm on the player?” queried
Plans for Ireland AM presenter Tommy Bowe to abseil from a helicopter with the DVDs in his possession at an as of yet undisclosed location have been revealed by Virgin Media TV, as per the hackers’ requests.
“No thank you,” confirmed hackers when asked if they wanted the complete boxset of Xposé.
With boxsets of the crown jewel of Irish reality TV going for 8-figure sums online, the sell-on market for Talllafornia episodes is lucrative but the hackers were clear in their motivations.
“We just want to be able to watch Cormac debate the number of eggs one requires whenever the mood strikes us, and this DVD will allow for that,” confirmed the hackers.
The hackers denied it took a unique level of cyber hacking knowledge to infiltrate servers as the password for much of the station’s security infrastructure has remained ‘MartinKingIsAKing69’ for over a decade.