Taoiseach Can’t Sack Robert Troy Without Sacking Like, 30 Other TDs


TDS from both sides of the house have agreed that Robert Troy has learned his lesson when it comes to financial irregularities arising from his residential property portfolio, adding that ‘no further action’ is needed on the matter, particularly action that would point the spotlight at them.

“We 100% accept Robert’s explanation that he simply forgot how many properties he owns, might not have fire safety certs, all that stuff – so let’s just leave it at that,” said Taoiseach Micheál Martin, standing up for his Fianna Fáil colleague.

“I mean, neither I nor anyone in government or opposition wants to really pull at that whole ‘TDs that are landlords’ thread, you know. It’s not illegal to be a TD and have a huge property portfolio while also voting on issues that lines their own pockets while diminishing the rights of renters, and people’s overall ability to escape rental traps and own their own homes. If it was, sure the half of us would be in jail, haha! Who would want that?”

The Taoiseach’s views were shared by some 80-odd TDs and Senators, who share hundreds of properties and have various other business interests which aren’t exactly ‘declared’ on Dáil Register of Members’ Interests, which is totally cool and nothing to worry about.

Meanwhile, Robert Troy himself has been urged to ‘sit tight and STFU’ about the matter, as another scandal should break in a day or two and everyone will forget about him if he just doesn’t do any more excruciating live interviews in which he seems determined to shoot his entire foot off.