Here’s What The Contents Of Your Glove Compartment Says About You


IT’S been a long, long time since the glove compartment of a car was used to actually hold gloves, and nowadays they seem to just be gathering grounds for all types of random bits and pieces. And it turns out, what you keep in your glove box can reveal things about you that you never knew. For example:

1) Old CDs

Does your car even have a CD player anymore? Surely, like the rest of us, you listen to Spotify or podcasts or digital radio, beamed directly to your car’s entertainment system or streamed on Bluetooth. Holding onto your old copies of Hot Fuss or White Ladder on CD in your glove box shows a link to the past that you cannot or perhaps will not relinquish. The problem is almost certainly sexual in nature.

2) Car tax documents, insurance stuff, manuals and whatnot

A cluttered glove box can reveal a cluttered mind. Surely all these car documents should be kept somewhere safe, and not just bundled in on top of last year’s NCT cert and a plethora of receipts and Supermacs vouchers? Such disorganisation reveals much about you, sexually.

3) Hand sanitisers, suncreams, various medicines

Medical caution is to be commended, and keeping a little travelling apothecary in your car is a smart thing to do. You never know when you could use some sun protection, or indeed a Disprin or two. It’s also a signal of a sexually troubled mind, and we question how someone with such obvious sexual hang-ups managed to even learn how to drive between bouts of sexual deviancy.

4) The book that came with the car

Massive uncertainty and doubt plagues your mind. Do you think you’re just going to forget how to drive one day? What do you need the manual for? Has an excessive number of sexual encounters ruined your short term memory? Seek help, pervert.

5) Condoms

If you’re going to be a pervert, you may as well be safe about it. First thing you’ve done all day that doesn’t disgust us. Well done.