“We Just Love Money” Golfers Defend Joining Saudi-Backed LIV Tour
FINALLY coming clean on their motives for joining the controversial Saudi-backed LIV golf tour, the participating golfers have confirmed ‘hey, we just love us some money’, WWN Sport can confirm.
With Dustin Johnson arguably the most high profile sign up, fresh questions were leveled at the golfers as the maiden event of the tour, set up by Saudi Arabia as part of its latest sports washing bid, got under way.
“This is all about setting up my family financially,” confirmed Johnson who must have the financial nous of a rabies addled raccoon if his career earnings to date of $74 million hasn’t already done that.
Citing a fresh challenge for their bank balances, the competing golfers said they couldn’t wait to line up, shake hands and pose for photos with Ted Bundy, Myra Hindley, the Zodiac killer or whoever, as long as they keep signing those fat cheques.
“Look at the end of the day we’re just golfers, we’re not politicians, we’re just money hungry golfers ready to dismiss absolutely anything if it means more money,” confirmed Graeme McDowell, who now along with his accent, unlikely to be considered Irish.
“Honestly I can’t believe you’re asking us questions about murdered journalists, public executions, persecution of gay people, have you seen the size of our fucking pay cheques? Do I condone human rights violations? Buddy, for $100mn there isn’t anything I wouldn’t condone,” the participating golfers said, tightly hugging their large novelty cheques.
The LIV tour begins in London, and will later hit the Royal Greens Golf Club in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia provided it isn’t already booked for a public hanging.