Not Sharing Vaccine With Developing World Working Out Just Great


NOT WANTING to disrupt wealthier western nations from the busy work of pretending Covid-19 is gone now forever with no lingering presence elsewhere, developing nations have politely inquired as to when those vaccines they were promised would be making their way to their respective countries.

“No we’re not ‘too lazy’ or ‘too poor’ to buy the vaccines, you sociopaths have just monopolised the market and shut us out. It’s not too unreasonable to ask where the vaccines you announced you were sending in official back-patting press conferences are,” confirmed one nation where only 4% of the population have gotten a dose of the Covid-19 vaccines.

Now labeled ‘trouble makers’ by nations thanks to the emergence of the Omicron variant, some leaders even went as far as to heavily imply the emergence of a new variant is down to ‘hygiene’ and definitely not due to starving poorer nations of the vaccine.

“We’re not asking for a handout, but hey, we caught you guys on video clearly stating you had all these fancy multi-lateral vaccine efforts for other nations, no one forced you to make up that bullshit on the spot but we’ll hold you to it,” shared another nation, perplexed by the news that nearly 8 billion vaccines have been administered worldwide, if worldwide means ‘wealthiest nations in world’.

Elsewhere, countries across Europe, North America and other regions are said to be exhausted from raising their champagne glasses toasting the end to Covid and the overwhelming success of announcing the ‘Covax’ programme and then not bothering to make a fast acting Covid-prevention programme.

“Oh, this is embarrassing, did we not tell you?” asked western nations.

“Covid is basically over but just to be safe you’ll be glad to here we’re giving ourselves winter booster shots!” the nations added, now on the receiving end of angry stares from Jamaica, Botswana, Algeria, Armenia, Syria, Haiti and dozens of other nations.