Nation Issues Motion Of No Competence In Irish Politicians


A MOVE which may not comply with parliamentary procedures but is being urged to be allowed by vast swathes of voters, for competing and contradictory reasons, the nation has put forward a motion of no competence in Irish politicians.

From TDs, Senators, Councillors and party members lingering in the background like a bad fart, the nation has expressed the view they have no confidence in the work undertaken by its public representatives.

“It’s not that we feel that, irrespective of party, they couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery. It’s that we believe they’d burn the brewery down and try to put the fire out with oil,” confirmed the nation.

It is proposed that should the motion somehow be passed, it would trigger an election that would see well qualified people with years of experience in fields which would be conducive to running a country well allowed to run, and anyone with existing political affiliations be banned from coming with 15km of appearing on the ballot.

“Sure, there’s the off chance we’ll lose someone with honest endeavour and a passion for serving the public, but you’ve more chance of picking the winning lotto numbers for 10 weeks in a row than finding someone like that in Irish politics – let’s be honest,” offered one member of the public.

No similar motion has been proposed in relation to senior civil servants citing the longstanding ‘good luck with telling to do anything they don’t want to do’ principle.

Defending their track record, politicians have rubbished the No Competence motion as a ludicrous suggestion stating “this nation would collapse in on itself if overnight the Dáil wasn’t staffed by qualified teachers who did a week in the job before winning their deceased father’s seat in a by-election”.