Employees Delighted To Add 20 Hours Of Commuting Back To Working Week


TENS of thousands of Irish workers are currently trying to convince themselves that it’s nice to have a bit of ‘me time’ to listen to podcasts or just stare out the window of a stationary bus, car or train, following their return to the office for the first time in 18 months.

“I forgot how much fun it was to spend the equivalent of half a week’s work just commuting” said one man we spoke to, who had been getting along just fine working from home without any drop in productivity.

“I blasted out of the house at half seven on an empty stomach to drop the kids off at a childminder that costs more than my mortgage which is a much better quality of life if you ask me – I couldn’t be fucking happier right now sitting in traffic knowing I’m probably going to be late”.

This sentiment was echoed by another woman we interviewed, who added that she was thrilled at the opportunity to stop working at home in peace, calm & mental tranquillity, and instead get back to being in an office with a suite of co-workers that she at best tolerates, at worst actively hates to their very core.

“I can’t wait to sit in the toilets and cry over snide comments about my weight that my co-workers made about me when they thought I wasn’t listening” she told us, adding that 18 months of not being constantly anxious had left her ‘not knowing what to do with all this clear headspace’.

It is hoped that the abolition of ‘working from home’ will lead to a return to normality in early 2022, with employees around the country back to their bitter, distracted, clock-watching, work-hating, pre-pandemic-selves.